What Agents Want
Prompt: my story is unique, compelling and relatable because…
It’s a story of stepping outside of my boxes and being amazed at the extraordinary experiences that resulted.
It’s also the story of moving through an extraordinary time of change in the world and in the art and science of developing human potential. The story of being influenced by, as well as influencing those powerful forces. And it’s a story of the student being ready and the impacts of powerful teachers that appeared and shared their bounty.
It’s a story of sisterhood and growing pains and a story of moving over, under around but seldom through barriers. And it’s a model of learning by doing instead of carefully preparing for situation that has already changed by the time you are willing to address it.
I didn’t set out to be what I became, and I didn’t become what I set out to be. I was privileged to follow my inner compass on one level while staying closely enough in step with the outer world to appear to belong there also. A chameleon? Perhaps I long ago learned to show those parts of me that would be appreciated in any situation and usually hide those parts that wouldn’t.
This is a story to encourage professional women who are following a conventional path and wishing for more to step outside of their boxes and join the fun. And it’s a story about being willing to pay a price for being different or, as my parents would say, not being a sheep.
I was different:
In grade school I was an over achiever Girl Scout earning first class and curved bar status (which included a badge for reptiles and amphibians.)
In high school I was a senior Girl Scout and went trip camping to Canada and to the Western United States where I got thoroughly hooked on Colorado.
I was a science fair exhibitor for three years and finally a winner in the third. And a state essay contest winner on the value of animal experimentation.
I was a drugstore delivery girl – the first one the pharmacist had ever employed.
I was a laboratory technician trained as an apprentice at 16.
I was mentored by a maiden aunt who was a dress designer stock market investor.
I sewed my own clothes in a city where few others did.
I nursed my first live baby when the only support was a phone call with the brand new La Leche league – despite my mother and sister’s doubts.
I didn’t become a doctor or nurse or remain a clinical lab technician, instead I worked in both the University of Colorado medical school and University of Chicago research labs.
I became a teacher with only a single education class for preparation because I majored in science in college.
I read textbooks in psychology from classes I never took because they were interesting. I heard live speeches from Eleanor Roosevelt and Carl Sandberg while at the University of Michigan because I could, and Tom Leher for the same reason.
Jon helped. As a student psychologist he invited me to interesting programs. And he also convinced me to start couples therapy with Stan Lipkin. He got more than he bargained for.
Jon invited me to accompany him to a meeting of the American psychological Association in Chicago. I chose to hear Fritz Pearls talking about Gestalt therapy and Marty Seligman presenting his paper on learned helplessness for the first time. Those groundbreaking presentations just looked appealing to me.
After therapy, getting pregnant, doing everything right, but developing toxemia, and once that was under control having a stillborn baby! Moving and giving up the comfort of TheCat, my first ever warm-blooded pet. Slowly recovering, getting pregnant again and Jon wanting a divorce to marry his cotherapist who was just like me! Letting loose the anger and outrage and coming out the other side without a job and with time to explore.
We attended the American psychological Association meeting in Washington where I pushed the stroller with the restless one year old back and forth outside the ballroom catching snatches of Martin Luther King’s speech.
And then I read Games People Play and went to a strange presentation by Dr. Eric Berne who was enthusiastically pounding one thumb with the other fist saying “Doctor., my thumb hurts!”
Opening to transformation:
All of this before the fateful pile in Dr. Berne’s living room! The pump had been primed and I was ready. That was what pushed me over the edge. I had already unknowingly connected with two future mentors before the conference ended. My first conference experience with Muriel James reading someone else’s paper blew my mind. I had no idea a woman like her could exist in the world! Then of course there was Mary Goulding.
I had a new fascination and soon a new pregnancy. Soon after I wormed my way into the Chicago TA study group and encountered two more future mentors, Fanita English was teaching my first 101, the introductory class to transactional analysis, and other, Natalie Haimowitz, an influential member of the community.